Here’s an article from MSN that really bugged me: How Sluggish Newbies Ruined the Marathon. Written by Gabriel Sherman, it begins:
Among autumn’s sporting rituals there is one tradition that fills me with mounting dread: the return of marathon season. If you’ve been to the gym or attended a cocktail party recently, you know what I mean. Chances are you’ve bumped into a newly devoted runner who’s all too happy to tell you about his heart-rate monitor and split times and the looming, character-building challenge of running 26.2 miles. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a slovenly couch potato who abhors exercise. I’m an avid runner with six marathons under my New Balance trainers. But this growing army of giddy marathon rookies is so irksome that I’m about ready to retire my racing shoes and pick up bridge.
Well, I’ve got eleven marathons and two 50Ks under my feet, and I’m not irked. Here’s what Sherman finds so troubling:
Today, the great majority of marathon runners set out simply to finish. That sets the bar so low that everyone comes out a winner. Big-city marathons these days feel more like circuses than races, with runners of variable skill levels—some outfitted in wacky costumes—crawling toward the finish line. The marathon has transformed from an elite athletic contest to something closer to sky diving or visiting the Grand Canyon. When a newbie marathoner crosses the finish line, he’s less likely to check his time than to shout, "Only 33 more things to do before I die!"
Bold emphasis is mine. Oh, the horror of having everyone feel good! Oh, the horror of people who took seven hours to finish feeling as if they have accomplished something! What’s next? Overweight people might find love and sexual fulfillment without feeling guilty about cellulite?
Sherman continues with this incredibly annoying rant:
Running was once a purist’s sport—you needed only to lace up your shoes and hop out the door. No longer. During a recent run in Central Park, I dodged groups of marathon trainees festooned with heart-rate monitors and space-age breathable fabrics that looked like they’d emerged from some NASA lab. Along with this profusion of gear, a constellation of coaches, massage therapists, chiropractors, and other gurus now peddle services to the marathon masses. In New York, the Bliss Spa offers the "Cold Feet" treatment, a one-hour procedure that "uses alternating hot and cold therapies to help circulate and deflate aching, swollen feet and puffy ankles." Two groups that Bliss says deserves this kind of pampering: marathon runners and pregnant women.
Hey, he even worked in some misogyny! Marathoners aren’t real athletes; they’re really just like pregnant women. Is that crack supposed to make men doubt the wisdom of training for a marathon?
Gabriel Sherman doesn’t list his times, but I’ll happily list mine. I’ve done nine road and two trail marathons. On the road, I’ve never failed to break four hours. My worst time was a 3:57; my best a 3:13:51. (Here’s the proof, scroll down to the 30-34 age group, which is what I was in when I ran the time). That time put me in the well within the top 10% of all finishers. In my thirties, I’ve also run a 18:44 5K and a 38:49 10K. Those times may not make me a prize-winner, but they’re certainly in the range of being solidly competitive.
I say this not to brag, but to make it clear that I’m not a "sluggish newbie." And I am not in the least troubled by the slow trotters who make up the majority of marathoners these days. I don’t see why Sherman ought to be troubled, either. If we’re faster, then these folks are behind us. It’s not as if they’re in the way, blocking our path to a water stop at mile 18! If I run a 3:50 marathon (which is what I generally do these days, largely because I don’t do speed training any more), I can get home and shower and put my feet up while the slower folks are still out on the course. And hell, my hat is off to them, as Sherman’s should be. I only suffer for three hours and change — the newbies to whom he refers are out there hurting for twice that long.
I’ve spent years and years around very competitive and talented athletes. I’ve worked with cross-country coaches and ultra-marathoners; I have friends who have qualified for the Olympic trials in distance events. To a man and to a woman, I’ve never heard them sneer at the slower recreational athletes who only long to finish. Real runners don’t judge and condemn others. Our reasons for running are myriad, and running to set a personal best time is never the only, or even the best, reason to run. If some folks want to trot and sweat for six hours so that they can say "I ran a marathon because I’ve always wanted to", how does it diminish my accomplishment in running the same race significantly faster? Heck, Sherman ought to love the slow ones — they make those of us who do run faster look better, as we finish in a noticeably higher percentile as a result. I’ll likely never run 3:13 again, but even these days, I finish in the top quarter of all male finishers most of the time. That’s due less to my own skills than to the plodders and the pounders who walk and jog for hour after hour. I’m grateful for them.
Running has brought me tremendous joy and fulfillment. It is a source of incredible pleasure in my life. I judge myself not by my weight, or whether my six-pack is defined, or by my latest time, but by the amount of delight I take in my workouts. I try and bring that peace and happiness home from the roads and the trails, and I try to make it manifest in my relationships with others. Running is like that for many people, whether or not they ever run a marathon, or whether or not they ever break four, five, or even seven hours. Gabriel Sherman ought to know that. As a fellow runner, I’m deeply disappointed in his attitude. He doesn’t speak for anyone I know.
Oh, and he wears New Balance too. The only thing worse would be Nike. Asics or Saucony or Montrail, baby.
I don’t care what the man says, I could never, ever run a marathon.
What an arse. If you the presence of runners slower than you is so intolerable, as you suggest, run faster than them. Then, you can avoid the crushing presence of these losers for almost the entire race. This problem really solves itself. Of course, it sounds like the real problem is that he doesn’t like other people, and he’s struggling–and failing–to rationalize that dislike.
He says “Just finishing a marathon is akin to joining a gym and then putzing around on the stationary bike.” That’s garbage. Unless he thinks these newbies just stroll out on a whim to run, and didn’t undertake any training. Putzing around? Man, what a… snob.
Then again, I guess I’m in the category he hates. A mixed bag though… I may be an 11 minute (marathon) miler but at least I’m a Saucony devotee!
Aw, man, Hugo, I was cheering through this article until you said nasty things about New Balance. I don’t profess to know much about running shoes, except that given how wide my feet are, New Balances are the only thing that fit comfortably.
Is there some particular criticism of them I should be aware of?
No, it’s just that I think they are wildly over-priced. But yeah, everyone’s foot is different, and you should wear what fits you and what you can afford. I just don’t think that for most runners, NB offers good value.
I could never run a marathon (joint problems make running too high impact for me), but I might be able to walk a marathon given enough training and enough time to complete the course. I did walk 20 miles for charity in two consecutive years in high school. (Not sure if I could still train up to that, though, given how my joints have deteriorated since then.)
I’m a sluggish 1/2 marathon runner (around 2 hours to 2:10), but I have to agree with some of the points in the article. I love the bands, but I’m sick of the folks in costume. Another point he didn’t raise was the fitness issue. This past weekend a 41 yr. old man collapsed and died at the Scotiabank Marathon in my City, about 2 blocks from the finish line. He could have had an unknown, underlying health issue, or he could have been poorly trained and ill prepared for the exertions of the day. I see many runners out on the course out there, hanging on due to sheer ego. We’ve all been there, but I flatter myself that at least I’ve put the miles in for training, made the proper preparations, and kept myself healthy (although I have run 1/2 with horrible colds, which is very stupid-but unlikely to kill me). So many think that they can do it, without the time & training committment. I think that if the author had delved more deeply into the health issues, this article might have been less whiny & self absorbed.
As for the new balance issue, if the shoes fit your feet & keep you from injury etc. price should be no object. I ran low milage in Nike Air Pegs for many years, but when I moved up the milage, I moved to Asics. When I bought my second pair of the same model, they hurt my feet and agravated my IT band, so I tried New Balance. I wear the top of the line model, but I’ve been running well in various pairs for 3 years now. They are pricy, but I wait until they change the model year (it’s just the colour) and buy last years model, usually 2 pair at a time.
Keep on running.
Of course, it sounds like the real problem is that he doesn’t like other people, and he’s struggling–and failing–to rationalize that dislike.
Got it in one. It’s like he used some “good old days/why everybody is wimpier than me” rant generated off randomtantrumgenerator.com.
Amen Hugo. I just got back from Dayton OH, where I ran the half distance of the Air Force Marathon. After I finished, I took my college roomie’s daughters out on the course to watch their mother finish her first full marathon. Since I’m normally done and showered before many of the “newbies” get back, it’s always been easy to sneer at the slower runners and especially the walkers, the participants whose goal may be “just to finish”. But watching the folks walking the half, and those struggling to complete the full race, was a humbling experience. Some of them were really suffering, and they hung in there well beyond the point where I would have probably quit. But what jumped out at me was this: even if you walk along munching your snacks and listening to tunes on the mp3 player, when you go 13.1 or 26.2 miles on your own 2 feet, you have done something that most of the US will never do. And that, in a culture where people drive a half-mile to the gym, is an accomplishment that any finisher can be proud of.
I’m one of the slow ones in the back (tho’ I’ve only done a couple of halves, not a full, plus a large number of 5Ks). I have nothing but respect for the guys out front, but you know what? That 13.1 miles was a BIG accomplishment for me, and my participation has NO effect on his. What an ass. Thinks he owns the road and the course due to an accident of genetics. This guy is who gives serious runners a bad name.
By the way…Brooks all the way.
Aww, mythago, I was truly disappointed to find that randomtantrumgenerator.com doesn’t really exist.
And thanks, Hugo, from a sluggish newbie. I hope I wouldn’t sneer that way at Sherman if he took up something I’m good at.
Geez, after reading this rather annoying and unnecessary rant from Mr Sherman, I was thinking that at least he didn’t suddenly blurt out “These folks aren’t even bad yet”!
I know I could never, ever run a marathon either. But I can fully shrug my shoulders and hold that position for 10-15 minutes at a time, thanks to my training in Balinese dance…
He does have one point: that people tend to focus on finishing a marathon as the be all end all of fitness when it can be quite hard on body parts, and even somewhat dangerous if not sufficiently trained for. Or perhaps I just like that point because it justifies my decision to stick to bettering my speed on halves.
No question, people should train for marathons. Failure to train adequately (or training too rapidly) is obviously a problem. But there are plenty of people who train for months and months just to run/walk six or seven hour marathons. There’s never a need to denigrate their accomplishment.