Comments on: Not just consent but enthusiasm: some notes on college sex workshops and stoplights

By: Consent « SHW

Consent « SHW — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 06:48:09 +0000

[...] as long as she’ll let you get yours, then you get into the “stoplight phenomenon”, as explained by Hugo Schwyzer: Traffic signals, of course, have three colors: red for stop, yellow for caution, green for go. [...]

By: Any Sex A Woman Doesn’t Want to Have is Rape

Any Sex A Woman Doesn’t Want to Have is Rape — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 04:01:51 +0000

[...] from women? Most likely victims of the way they were socialized to think about and understand sex. Hugo Schwyzer’s “Stoplight Theory” explains this really well (emphasis his). Most boys, for example, get the â€œno means noâ€ message [...]

By: Gray Areas of Sexual Consent

Gray Areas of Sexual Consent — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:09:36 +0000

[...] Not just Consent, but Enthusiasm [...]

By: Asexuality and Rape « Singularly Bizarre

Asexuality and Rape « Singularly Bizarre — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:24:02 +0000

[...] And a lot of it stems from the same rape culture that feminists talk about and a general ignorance of and resistance to a model of sex centered on mutual enthusiastic consent. [...]

By: Amelia

Amelia — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 12:27:54 +0000

Great post, Hugo, I completely agree – a really important message.

I get disturbed when I see on T.V (drama series, movies) women initially saying a half-hearted “no” but physically responding – or else seeing when the guy doesn’t stop pressing her/kissing her, that she ‘gives in’.

On T.V a “no” that is not strong is not a “no” – there is this message that women really want sex but they don’t want to be seen as promiscuous, so they say “no” but respond physically and have sex anyway.

If in doubt, guys should assume the woman means “no”. If she says “no” but she’s acting like she wants to go on (which I see a lot on T.V) they should stop, look at her, then ask her if she really means “no”.

“no” needs to be a powerful word.

By: Sundays with Stretchy Pants » Wink, wink, nudge, nudge

Sundays with Stretchy Pants » Wink, wink, nudge, nudge — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:06:01 +0000

[...] Of course, I’m hoping this will translate into their teen years when the pressures they’ll face will be of much greater significance and the choices they make will be of much greater consequence. Yes, everything always comes back to sex with me. I know. Shut up. Anyway, I came across this blog post from Hugo Schwyzer, who I think is a little bit crazy, but he has some good points. It’s about how our “no means no” message is somewhat lacking and we have to teach how to interpret the no and the yes. “…anything short of an authentic, honest, uncoerced, aroused and sober “Hell yes!” is, in the end, just a “no” in another form.” [...]

By: Blogging for Choice « Queer Lady

Blogging for Choice « Queer Lady — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 05:12:10 +0000

[...] All people must know that no means no, and how important it is for sex (of any kind) to be safe, sane, and consensual. Period. No gray rape, no question of whether a woman has consented or not. I am for enthusiastic consent by all parties involved in a sexual encounter, as written about here and here. Not just heterosex, but all sex. [...]

By: Noah S Rufus Peckham

Noah S Rufus Peckham — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 22:38:42 +0000

I just came across this posting. There appears to be a grave misconception about what consent means from a legal perspective in the current date rape debate. Consent under long-settled law really does mean consent. The trouble may be that young men are not properly taught what it means. The test for consent, as with all such concepts, is whether a reasonable person in the position of the male would understand that the female has objectively manifested her assent to engage in sex. Consent can be, and usually is, implied from all the surrounding circumstances and may be conveyed by conduct, even silence (e.g., a young woman unfurls her robe and leaps atop her boyfriend). The young womanâ€™s secret, subjective feelings are irrelevant.

The legal concept of consent is sound and is the only workable definition consonant with due process. Consent is often difficult for a jury to determine, but so are many other things in the law.

By: Noah S Rufus Peckham

Noah S Rufus Peckham — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 22:37:32 +0000

The legal concept of consent is sound and is the only workable definition consonant with due process. Consent is often difficult for a jury to

By: metamanda>>weblog

metamanda>>weblog — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 05:01:02 +0000

feminist round-up…

This stuff is all a little old, as in the discussions have died down, but still interesting… There was a righteous feminist furor in late August over Cosmo’s “gray rape” article (in which everyone mentioned clearly said “no”, so… what’s gray …