Wealthy and embittered with a victim complex? Leave your money to the MRAs

This from Vanessa at Feministing:

Apparently in all seriousness, the lads at Men’s News Daily are asking elderly men’s rights activists (MRAs) to leave their money to charities that will continue the struggle:

Let me talk directly to older wealthy American married males: give us other men a break. Don’t assume that your wife is as conservative as you. Don’t die and leave her all of your money.

In 2007, money is not only flowing into feminist organization coffers from dead widows and vindictive ex-wives like Heather Mills McCartney. The feminist groups are also getting big dollars from big politically correct corporations like Exxon-Mobil and, of course, an American Congress which is filled with blackmailed perverts like Senator Larry Craig who have clearly been doing almost everything the feminists wanted just to keep themselves in business at the local men’s restroom.

Therefore, you real men who might die in the next 10 years (you could be hit by a truck) have an obligation to leave serious funds to men’s rights organizations that can do battle with the above-mentioned juggernaut. Please go change your last will and testament today (tomorrow if it is after 5PM when you read this).

Larry Craig was a feminist? If so, he was pretty darn well, uh, closeted.

Of course, there aren’t a lot of legitimate men’s rights groups that have 501(c)3 status, but perhaps that will change. The article advises:

You can also start a 501c3 non-profit before you die. Ask a lawyer about getting one started sooner rather than later.

Remember, no matter how much you love her, please do NOT leave all your money to a woman (wife or daughter) who could knowingly or unknowingly turn your grandson and great-grandson into the slave of a system completely dominated by feminists.

It’s beyond risible, of course, but worth a visit for the laugh. There’s an interesting comment thread at Feministing.

For my own categorization of the various branches of the men’s movement, see here. For one of many critiques of the so-called MRAs, see here. Quoting myself from many years ago:

The problem with the men’s rights movement is that they confuse men’s unhappiness with oppression. They assume that if men were in control, they would be happy, because patriarchal oppressors ought to be happy. Therefore, if a man isn’t happy, he isn’t oppressing. Newsflash, folks: Just because you don’t know you’re privileged doesn’t mean you’re not. Just because there are aspects of your power and privilege that you find alienating and burdensome doesn’t mean that you are any less a beneficiary of an oppressive system! Both men and women do need liberation from rigid, traditional, gender roles. The difference is that collectively, men are the architects of the system while women are merely forced to live within it.

But here’s the serious question, since I seem to be in a question-asking mood: which charities would you be most inclined to leave your money to, assuming you die with plenty to leave?

You can scroll down on the right sidebar to find my favorites. Put yours in the comments section.

Anniversary

I had planned to be in my office early this morning, with time to write part two of my Boys Adrift review.

When I got into my car at 7:00, however, the battery was dead as could be. A thirty-minute wait for AAA to come, try and jump start the car (only to discover the battery was hopelessly corroded) and the installation of a new battery meant that I made it to my office late, with no time to write a long post.

But no irritation can detract from the happy reality that today is our second wedding anniversary. These have been two extraordinary, blessed, and transformative years. (And let it be noted quickly that none of my first three marriages ever made it this far.) To be married to my best friend, to be joined in a partnership that blends deep contentment with deep challenge, is better than I could have hoped for or imagined.

We’ll celebrate tonight with Pilates and pasta, with only a short interval between the two.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged

Cal-Tennessee, masculinity, and another post in praise of Joe Ehrmann

Like many a loyal Old Blue, I eagerly anticipated the Cal-Tennessee football game that was played on Saturday. Though I have little use for the NFL (and in many ways, would rather watch “soccer” than American football), I am a long-standing Golden Bear fan. After a disappointing and painful loss to Tennessee at the start of the 2006 campaign, Cal supporters were eager for redemption. We got it in splendid fashion two days ago, and to my wife’s great amusement, I offered several renditions of the happy dance over the course of the game.

Yesterday, I read half-a-dozen news accounts of the game. This one by Olin Buchanan, from the respected Rivals.com site, annoyed me immensely:

Last year Cal was branded soft and overrated after a 35-18 season-opening ambush in Knoxville, which wasn’t nearly that close. Then, before kickoff on Saturday night a propeller-powered plane circled high above the stadium towing a banner that read: SEC RULES, PAC-10 DROOLS.

Apparently, that perceived drooling was actually the 12th-ranked Bears’ mouths watering for a chance to prove they were more talented, more competitive and more masculine than they showed a year ago.

Thirty-five years after the advent of Title IX, and we’ve still got neanderthals like Buchanan associating toughness with masculinity? What’s the implication, Olin? That “soft and overrated” is somehow a particularly feminine quality?

For decades, sociologists of sport have had fun with the language of American football. The language of “scoring”, “penetrating the defense”, “getting in the end zone”, and even — Lord help us — the “tight end” is certainly suggestive. And a great many “old school” coaches (I’ve known one or fifty) played on the sexual anxieties of their young athletes by associating defeat with allowing oneself to be feminized by the opposing team.

When I was a student at Cal in the mid-80′s (the fun but mediocre Joe Kapp era), practices at Memorial Stadium were open to the public. I often went and sat in the bleachers, did my homework, and watched. I remember an assistant coach yelling at a group of linemen doing drills: “tighten it up or you’re gonna get fucked like a bunch of bitches come Saturday.” I was aghast. (Let me be clear, I never heard that language from dear Coach Kapp.) I hadn’t even started taking women’s studies classes yet, but I was still disheartened by the brutally sexist language I heard from this coach (and from many of the players.)

Some say that the violent game of American football is inherently misogynistic; the sport, for some, is beyond redemption. The cynics say that young men will only play with maximum passion and intensity when this language of sexual warfare is employed. But as a fan of this most popular of American games, I’m convinced otherwise. And fortunately, I can look to the likes of Joe Ehrmann, about whom I’ve written a couple of times — at greatest length here.

Ehrmann, a former star defensive lineman for the Baltimore Colts, now coaches the enormously successful Gilman (Maryland) high school football team. This is how he preps his team for a game:

“What is our job as coaches?” Ehrmann asks.

“To love us!” the Gilman boys yell back in unison.

“What is your job?” Ehrmann shouts back.

“To love each other!” the boys respond.

The words are spoken with the commitment of an oath, the enthusiasm of a pep rally.

This is football?

It is with Ehrmann. It is when the whole purpose of being here is to totally redefine what it means to be a man.

Joe Ehrmann knows what authentic masculinity is, and it has nothing, nothing to do with athletic prowess. His teams win state titles regularly (while he enforces his “no cut rule”, meaning everyone plays). For those of us who love competitive sports but who are often dismayed by the ugly cultural rules around those sports, men like Ehrmann are vital role models. (His biography is compelling.)

From the first day of practice through the last day of the season, Ehrmann and his best friend, Head Coach Biff Poggi, bombard their players with stories and lessons about being a man built for others.

They stress that Gilman football is all about living in a community. It is about fostering relationships. It is about learning the importance of serving others. While coaches elsewhere scream endlessly about being tough, Ehrmann and Poggi teach concepts such as empathy, inclusion and integrity. They emphasize Ehrmann’s code of conduct for manhood: accepting responsibility, leading courageously, enacting justice on behalf of others…

Olin Buchanan, take note. Go Bears.

Blog names

For those who blog: if your blog isn’t eponymous, how did you come up with its name? And for that small number of you whose blog, like mine, simply carries your name, what title would you pick if you had to change?

I’d call this blog “The Permanent Bottleneck of His Highmindedness” (or just “Permanent Bottleneck”), after the wonderful Louis Macneice poem that seems to fit me all too well.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged

Special Sunday Short Poem: Jarrell’s “Next Day”

It’s not Thursday, but there won’t be a Thursday Short Poem this coming week anyway, as this blog will be on hiatus from September 6-25.

Friday’s post about the “slide into invisibility” earned me a note from my mother, who reminded me of this fine 1960s-era Randall Jarrell poem. It’s a poem for my mother’s generation, a generation of Second Wave feminists heavily influenced by Betty Friedan and the poetry of Anne Sexton. It’s dated now, but it’s still absolutely on target. (It’s a bit longer, so it’s below the fold. ) It’s not a happy poem, mind, or an inspiring one — but it rang true for more than one woman of an earlier generation, and clearly for some it still rings painfully true today. Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged ,