- make your classes more “inclusive” of men,
- “reach out” to men to convince them that this is a cool field of study
- invest in surveys and programs to retain men

…and do all those things that we are told MUST be done to attract and keep more women in science and engineering classes?

The gender imbalance in science and engineering is often immediately interpreted as due to the “hostile” environment for women – why don’t the same principles (which no doubt you espouse in your classes) apply to YOU?

It’s not one or the other, but both, and regardless of whether the intention to simultaneously smear and label is present, I still stand by my assertion that anyone man or woman, regardless of what they are being called, has the right to assert the truth, so long as they do it in a way that doesn’t unjustly smear others in the process.

I wrote that when I said, “People have a right to assert that they are being incorrectly sexually labeled, they do not have a right to blanketly imply or assume that what they are labeled is morally or socially bankrupt, only that it is incorrect.”

I guess my point was, people who you know enough to matter should generally know who you are anyway. And I agree; it’s important to me that people I care about know who I am, but they would also not throw around hastily decided labels or else their opinion would cease to matter pretty quickly

//People have a right to assert that they are being incorrectly sexually labeled//

The point I was trying to make is that they aren’t labeling your sexual orientation. They are trying to denigrate your masculinity (or femininity, by calling a woman a dyke/implying that she is a lesbian) and say that you are less of a man. Guys hurling the word “gay” or “fag” around has, at least in my experience, not been the least bit about making accusations about someone who actually might be homosexual. It’s about intimidating them and putting them on the defensive and continuing this association where to be gay is something awful.

If you’re sex-positive, then one of the many, many different rights you consider equal to everyone is the right to equitable and fair sexual activity with an equally entitled, consenting partner. If any society or sub-culture limits this by labeling you as something you are not, then this power is significantly reduced, and you are oppressed/discriminated against (for those who like to nit-pick the differences, choose the one that fits in context).

People have a right to assert that they are being incorrectly sexually labeled, they do not have a right to blanketly imply or assume that what they are labeled is morally or socially bankrupt, only that it is incorrect.

I work with teenagers (substitute teacher in my day job, generally at the same school every day, so I know most of the kids) and I get this sort of thing a lot. The kids will ask, when I call them out for using homophobic phrases (“that’s so gay” or calling someone a fag), if I’m gay. I never answer that question, instead I always say that it doesn’t matter if I am or not, that sort of language is simply unacceptable. As a result, a lot of the kids at this school think I’m a lesbian or bi. And if that gets them to think about the things they’re saying, then that’s fine with me.

Personally, I do make an effort to make sure people in general know I’m het because I’m single and I want eligible heterosexual women to know I’m available. But I feel like I’ve found ways of doing this that doesn’t concede any ground to homophobia, and the number one principle I bear in mind is that if someone doesn’t believe I’m heterosexual when I say so, I don’t care; and another is that if someone doesn’t know what my sexual orientation is but criticize me on the presumption that I’m gay, I don’t tell that person whether I’m gay or not.

When I participated at a gay rights panel discussion at local Southern Baptist-affiliated Mississippi College, for example, I’m pretty sure I went through the whole 90-minute event without happening to mention that I’m heterosexual. I’m sure anyone who didn’t know me would have assumed I was gay, because I was billed as “local gay right activist Tom Head” and used “us” language whenever I could. But I did find an excuse to name-drop my heterosexuality in a private conversation a few days later with a young woman who had been in attendance. It’s all about priorities! ;o)

I don’t care what labels a lot of people put on me. But I find in those cases I really don’t give a rat’s patoot what they think about anything, anyway.

People whose opinions matter to me, on the other hand, are a different story.

This is so because the other things are basically ideas. Being gay isn’t a choice of religion or a political stance. It’s someone’s genetic predisposition for attraction. So yes, I understand that people don’t want to be mistaken for what they aren’t, but being that there is, in general, a societal perception that GAY = BAD, it might seem as one is reinforcing that when they are so quick to tell you that HAHAIAMNOTGAY! “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” I understand that no one wants to be mistaken for something they are not, but then again, I can’t imagine living like I care what labels someone who doesn’t know me or care about me foists upon me. But then, I’m not in high school anymore:)

It’s not every day that I agree with Gonzman, but this is true. However, there is the negative connotation to saying “I’m not gay, really” that isn’t present in the other categories.

Anna, I see what you’re saying, but I also see Hugo trying (trying being a key word here) to say to hetero men, “This line of academics is relevant to you, too. You don’t have to be gay for it to be meaningful.”