Comments on: Call for stories: on my “older men, younger women” project, and a request for assistance http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/02/02/call-for-stories-on-my-older-men-younger-women-project-and-a-request-for-assistance/ Author, Speaker, Professor, Shattering Gender Myths Thu, 09 Feb 2012 04:08:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Hugo Schwyzer http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/02/02/call-for-stories-on-my-older-men-younger-women-project-and-a-request-for-assistance/#comment-10496 Hugo Schwyzer Mon, 09 Feb 2009 23:45:41 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2009/02/02/call-for-stories-on-my-older-men-younger-women-project-and-a-request-for-assistance/#comment-10496 The book is still in development, but its tone will be in keeping with my many posts on older men and younger women relationships. I should have questions up soon, but not as soon as I had hoped... life is pretty frenetic right now. The book is still in development, but its tone will be in keeping with my many posts on older men and younger women relationships. I should have questions up soon, but not as soon as I had hoped… life is pretty frenetic right now.

]]> By: Nathalie http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/02/02/call-for-stories-on-my-older-men-younger-women-project-and-a-request-for-assistance/#comment-10495 Nathalie Mon, 09 Feb 2009 23:21:53 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2009/02/02/call-for-stories-on-my-older-men-younger-women-project-and-a-request-for-assistance/#comment-10495 I wrote an email to you half way over the weekend, until disrupted by some ppl. You have idea of the questions yet, or still prefer free style ? This reminds me of a famous book by Judith Wallerstein about divorce. She took real cases - observed through 25 years - to demonstrate various aspects. Is this the style of your book, or they are more for demonstrative purpose ? I wrote an email to you half way over the weekend, until disrupted by some ppl. You have idea of the questions yet, or still prefer free style ?

This reminds me of a famous book by Judith Wallerstein about divorce. She took real cases – observed through 25 years – to demonstrate various aspects. Is this the style of your book, or they are more for demonstrative purpose ?

]]> By: Mary D. http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/02/02/call-for-stories-on-my-older-men-younger-women-project-and-a-request-for-assistance/#comment-10494 Mary D. Sat, 07 Feb 2009 05:25:17 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2009/02/02/call-for-stories-on-my-older-men-younger-women-project-and-a-request-for-assistance/#comment-10494 Hmmm... Is 12 years a big enough gap? Interesting you should post such a query right after I hook up with your facebook site. Although I'm not sure if my experiences will fulfill your request for women in their twenties who are attracted to older men. Actually I started dating older men when I was almost 40. And honestly, I really haven't had a preference over the years anyway - I've dated older, younger, and similar age. I believe there are 2 reasons for my interest in older men - one is internal and the other external. First of all, I felt I truly became "myself" after the age of 35. Not that I had experienced all that life had to offer - but that I was truly "grown-up", that my internal core was set and while life could swirl around me, I would remain myself. So, now I feel as if I don't need to differentiate age - I can be at an equal maturity level with an older man. So I am attracted to the stability and reliability of most older men. I don't know if I could find this with a man younger than 35 or so. Okay, pyscho-babel aside, here's the reality check: I find a lot of men around my age prefer to date younger women. (personally, I'll be very interested in your findings.) So, being a pragmatist, I figure I'll have a better chance with older men. And now for the nitty gritty :-), sex with an older man has ALWAYS been better than sex with a younger man. Youthful exuberance aside, I'd much rather have the creativity and experience of an older lover. I did find my best relationship with an older man (he was 51 when we met-I was 39) I think we matched so well purely because of compatible personalities, and age was not a factor. (At least not for me) Unfortunately, he passed away last November and left a huge hole in my life. I'm both grateful and saddened to be able to talk about him like this. I don't know how helpful this info will be. Honestly, I've always had a good, solid relationship with my dad, so I don't feel I'm looking for a father figure. And I've always been able to support myself and my 2 kids, so I know I'm not looking for a "sugar daddy". But I will confess, I felt more secure because I was so much younger than him: that perhaps he wouldn't need to have a wandering eye if he was with a woman he could "show off". (No, I'm not being vain, I've just dated a lot and become a little jaded.) By the way, if you ever do a project about extra-marital affairs, drop me a line and I'll enlighten you about why I am so wary of the "wandering eye". Well, good luck with your research - I am looking forward to see what you discover! Hmmm… Is 12 years a big enough gap? Interesting you should post such a query right after I hook up with your facebook site. Although I’m not sure if my experiences will fulfill your request for women in their twenties who are attracted to older men. Actually I started dating older men when I was almost 40. And honestly, I really haven’t had a preference over the years anyway – I’ve dated older, younger, and similar age. I believe there are 2 reasons for my interest in older men – one is internal and the other external. First of all, I felt I truly became “myself” after the age of 35. Not that I had experienced all that life had to offer – but that I was truly “grown-up”, that my internal core was set and while life could swirl around me, I would remain myself. So, now I feel as if I don’t need to differentiate age – I can be at an equal maturity level with an older man. So I am attracted to the stability and reliability of most older men. I don’t know if I could find this with a man younger than 35 or so.
Okay, pyscho-babel aside, here’s the reality check: I find a lot of men around my age prefer to date younger women. (personally, I’ll be very interested in your findings.) So, being a pragmatist, I figure I’ll have a better chance with older men. And now for the nitty gritty :-) , sex with an older man has ALWAYS been better than sex with a younger man. Youthful exuberance aside, I’d much rather have the creativity and experience of an older lover.
I did find my best relationship with an older man (he was 51 when we met-I was 39) I think we matched so well purely because of compatible personalities, and age was not a factor. (At least not for me) Unfortunately, he passed away last November and left a huge hole in my life. I’m both grateful and saddened to be able to talk about him like this.
I don’t know how helpful this info will be. Honestly, I’ve always had a good, solid relationship with my dad, so I don’t feel I’m looking for a father figure. And I’ve always been able to support myself and my 2 kids, so I know I’m not looking for a “sugar daddy”. But I will confess, I felt more secure because I was so much younger than him: that perhaps he wouldn’t need to have a wandering eye if he was with a woman he could “show off”. (No, I’m not being vain, I’ve just dated a lot and become a little jaded.) By the way, if you ever do a project about extra-marital affairs, drop me a line and I’ll enlighten you about why I am so wary of the “wandering eye”.
Well, good luck with your research – I am looking forward to see what you discover!

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