Comments on: “I Have So Much Love to Give”: Young Women and Self-flattery (Reprint) http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/ Author, Speaker, Professor, Shattering Gender Myths Thu, 09 Feb 2012 04:08:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: The Problem With Being “Sexy But Not Sexual” | Develle Dish http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13492 The Problem With Being “Sexy But Not Sexual” | Develle Dish Wed, 17 Nov 2010 07:22:42 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13492 [...] (a sense encouraged by “princess” culture), something I wrote about in a post called “I Have So Much Love to Give: Young Women and Self-flattery.” That ain’t new. What’s new is the degree to which young girls, often barely into [...] [...] (a sense encouraged by “princess” culture), something I wrote about in a post called “I Have So Much Love to Give: Young Women and Self-flattery.” That ain’t new. What’s new is the degree to which young girls, often barely into [...]

]]> By: Thoughts on Love and Desire « Deanne Love http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13491 Thoughts on Love and Desire « Deanne Love Mon, 15 Nov 2010 04:47:14 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13491 [...] One of the most important tools we can give young people — boys and girls alike — is the reminder that their sexuality belongs to them. Pleasure is a deep and profound good, and for all of what we imagine to be their self-indulgence, young people today don’t have nearly as much healthy pleasure as they need. *** “I Have So Much Love to Give”: Young Women and Self-flattery [...] [...] One of the most important tools we can give young people — boys and girls alike — is the reminder that their sexuality belongs to them. Pleasure is a deep and profound good, and for all of what we imagine to be their self-indulgence, young people today don’t have nearly as much healthy pleasure as they need. *** “I Have So Much Love to Give”: Young Women and Self-flattery [...]

]]> By: Nadine Ann http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13490 Nadine Ann Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:45:47 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13490 I very much enjoyed your post. The part where you say, "Bu the time she’s well into puberty, your average girl has spent most of her remembered lifetime trying to please others: parents, teachers, coaches, peers. She may well have become a first-class pleaser and “praise-junkie.” If she sees herself as relatively good at pleasing mom and dad and teachers, she may imagine that when she gets into an intimate relationship, she will be magnificent as a girlfriend." holds very true to what I see with my eating disordered women clients. It's what they have been taught and those thoughts tend to give them false beliefs. I very much enjoyed your post. The part where you say, “Bu the time she’s well into puberty, your average girl has spent most of her remembered lifetime trying to please others: parents, teachers, coaches, peers. She may well have become a first-class pleaser and “praise-junkie.” If she sees herself as relatively good at pleasing mom and dad and teachers, she may imagine that when she gets into an intimate relationship, she will be magnificent as a girlfriend.” holds very true to what I see with my eating disordered women clients.

It’s what they have been taught and those thoughts tend to give them false beliefs.

]]> By: Catie http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13489 Catie Thu, 09 Jul 2009 23:54:06 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13489 Thank you for this post as well! Emma, I hear you. I think I might also suggest that yong men must also be taught that they must not rely on the compassion/passion of women to be the only healing force in their lives. I think that over all this post speaks to how gender roles can lead to not enough self love. I hope that the young women who feel they have so much love to give find that they are able to give a significant amount of that love to themselves. Thank you for this post as well! Emma, I hear you.

I think I might also suggest that yong men must also be taught that they must not rely on the compassion/passion of women to be the only healing force in their lives. I think that over all this post speaks to how gender roles can lead to not enough self love. I hope that the young women who feel they have so much love to give find that they are able to give a significant amount of that love to themselves.

]]> By: matey http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13488 matey Mon, 06 Jul 2009 10:10:36 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13488 Thank you for this Hugo, it's a wonderful post. Thank you for this Hugo, it’s a wonderful post.

]]> By: emma http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13487 emma Mon, 06 Jul 2009 07:32:15 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13487 i remember experiencing the same feeling as a child and adolescent. but i have been in love and back out of it one serious time and and the feeling of an immense well of love inside me has been fairly constant though out. what has changed is how i understand it. i think that young girls are taught very much that passion and fulfillment is about the one your with, that their lives are a great romance waiting to be played out. but in what i consider my more mature understanding of love, i feel that romance is only one dimension of it. that great core of passionate energy that i have always felt is just no more or less than my own passion for life, loved ones and all kinds of things. its not surprising that as a kid who believed the fairy tale schematic for living life, that i might focus that energy and passion into a romantic ideal. i hope this explanation makes sense, its a pretty tricky feeling to express i remember experiencing the same feeling as a child and adolescent. but i have been in love and back out of it one serious time and and the feeling of an immense well of love inside me has been fairly constant though out. what has changed is how i understand it. i think that young girls are taught very much that passion and fulfillment is about the one your with, that their lives are a great romance waiting to be played out. but in what i consider my more mature understanding of love, i feel that romance is only one dimension of it. that great core of passionate energy that i have always felt is just no more or less than my own passion for life, loved ones and all kinds of things. its not surprising that as a kid who believed the fairy tale schematic for living life, that i might focus that energy and passion into a romantic ideal. i hope this explanation makes sense, its a pretty tricky feeling to express

]]> By: Emm http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13486 Emm Fri, 03 Jul 2009 17:19:04 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2009/07/01/i-have-so-much-love-to-give-young-women-and-self-flattery-reprint/#comment-13486 "... But that of God Herself" I love that! You're a rebel on so many levels Hugo. “… But that of God Herself”

I love that! You’re a rebel on so many levels Hugo.

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